You may not be able to send roses or chocolates for whatever reason - the shop sold out before it came to your turn, you had money but could not find what you wanted to buy for her because she is so special, and any other reason you can find in the book, the least you can do is send SMS. For those of you who like to break up or form annoyance a day before valentine, Christmas or birthday, send text instead and the sweet recipient will make do with that.
Talking of romance, I have come to realize that not everyone can be romantic in the context of this our present day romantic gestures - buy cards, send roses, buy chocolates, play soft music, make dinner for you etc. If you like uproot them from Lagos and plant them in the heart of Paris, they still won't change. They will never understand how buying card is romantic or buying chocolates etc. Just imagine sending an AJ City girl flowers on Val's day, wetin the babe go take rose do? Think about my aunt in the east, she will rather have you buy her Ugu than buy her roses she can't do anything with. She would rather you buy her stock fish than chocolate, to her, buying chocolate has no romance to it, infact to her it is so unromantic, it is inconsiderate. She does not understand how you could spend 10k on small boxes of ”mede-mede" when you could have bought big stock fish she can use to cook serious ofe oha with orisirisi inside. However while it is not possible for everyone to be romantic in this context, everyone can be loving.
In recent times, I began to think slightly more critically about Romantic-ness and loving. In my considered opinion, being Romantic has been overhyped at the expense of being loving. It has been said that you can give without loving, but cannot love without giving, same way I know from experience and observation that you can be romantic without loving, but you cannot be loving without being romantic. Think about it critically - to be romantic means to elicit romance or to be able to woo or to sweep someone off her feet or to make them fall for you or "gel" whether or not that person should be gelling for you. It involves arranging a series acts in sequential fashion and unleashing them one after the other with the aim of getting the babe to fall, gel or be wooed. A guy finds a babe, tries to be romantic, buys cards, roses, flies her first-class for two to Dubai or the Bahamas, shops for her from designer stores etc. just to woo the girl. If the girl fall, he is happy and his hunt has paid off, but have you noticed how the romance quickly fades if the girl says "No"? Being romantic is a way of acquiring an object of attraction. But acts of love are different; it is a lifestyle that builds friendship for common good and or the improvement and growth of that person. It is not focused on oneself or the eventual gain of copulation, it is focused on living, happiness, growth and the well-being of the parties involved. It is not focused on satisfying one's desires.
Reality however is that many people judge their relationships based on how "hot" or romantic or unromantic their partners are. If he does not pay for trips abroad or buy expensive gifts every day, he is not "hot". I have heard people criticize their spouses for not buying flowers or making cakes or buying cards meanwhile the guy does not even know where they sell flowers neither does he know why a rose is preferable to a Sunflower after all the sun flower looks bolder and does not have thorns. In short, our interpretation of romance is based on our upbringing, our state in life or our state of mind i.e. what is romantic today may not be romantic tomorrow. In our “hay" days, the most romantic thing you could do was to write lyrics on piece of paper and send to the girl you are eyeing - How many people remember "Love Letter"? How many of you wrote "Love Letters"? I don't know if people still do that today, maybe they do tech-ier stuff. But wait for a couple of months after the romance cools down, and they start to fight. Truth is that many people spend their energy trying to find out how to be romantic but never spend time learning how to love, meanwhile what make a relationship work and last long is not romance in the name of romance, by habits of love that have become romantic.
While everyone may not be romantic as romantic is interpreted in our time, everyone can be loving. I have also found out that everyone interprets and responds to love the same way. While romantic gestures will change per culture and background, habits of Love are interpreted the same in every language and culture or across culture. What love is in Yoruba culture, it is in Sochi Russia, in China, in the deserts of Arizona or in Australia. Instead of getting frustrated trying to get our spouses to be "romantic" why don't we all focus of developing Habits of Love - habits of Care, tenderness to one another, forgiveness. Habits of humility (considering your partner's opinion as important and critical). Habits of supporting one another. Habits of believing in your partner, habits of rejoicing in their success and sharing in their pains, habits of seeking their good at all times instead of seeking just our own personal good (selfishness), habits of being patient with our partner, habit of being kind instead of mean and just trying to satisfy ourselves alone, habits of politeness to our partners and not being rude, habits of sticking in there, in the trenches, with our partners until we win the battle, habit of being considerate and going out of our way to look out for the welfare and happiness of our partners. When these habits of love become mutual, the resulting romance is unbeatable.
Being romantic looks like an easy pick in the light of being loving. Being romantic is child's play when compared to being loving. The real hot guys are the ones who work at their habits of love and not just their lyrics and vibes. Being loving is the real deal. Loving does not make the partner fall, it make your spouse rise. Habits of love are definitely sweeter and produce more romance than 1million romantic move can do on its own.
So why don't we re-channel our energy to learning to love instead of just trying to be romantic once in a while. .
Meditate on these things.